regrets + goals

Why you should stop saying sorry


I am learning how to stop saying I am sorry. Sick of having the automatic response in all moments where I feel slightly bad for the person or people involved in my choices.

it means nothing

Think about it, even when you have no control over the situation you end up saying sorry. Like at work, where it is not your fault you don’t have something and say the word when it is not even your responsibility to make sure you have it! Why are you apologizing then? The statement is such a meaningless impulse. We say it just because we know it is polite – but how often do we actually mean it? In my opinion, saying the word makes it obvious you are guilty. Taking responsibility. Admitting you had control in the outcome. Do you? If so, is it necessary to waste time saying sorry? Probably better to use the energy to fix the problem.

actions speak louder than words


…but, I am sorry!

When is it ok to say it? When you genuinely mean it! . When it is 100% your fault for messing up and are ready to follow with the actions necessary to make up for your mess. Never say sorry for something you have been wanting to do or say. You are an adult and can make your own decisions. The word is for the chain of events following your decisions.

So yes, I may slip up and say sorry when I do not mean it because I have been programmed to do so. However, I am going to make a conscious effort to save my sorry’s for times when I genuinely mean it. If someone decides to read this and you can relate – try it! Using actions to apologize rather than saying a word. See what happens…


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Are you listening?


You will never  be able to escape from your heart. So it is better to listen to what it has to say. – Paulo Coehlo

why do people have big mouths?

I personally do not understand why people talk. They say things that cause you to step back and have a WTF moment. When dating someone you fall for them and all they are. Your first moments together are just the two of you. You focus on yourselves. Learning about what makes each other happy. Time passes and you need to become involved now with their family. This is inevitable when things are going well. And vice versa. There is only to ways this can go: positive or negative. But, you are in love so you look past if there is any negative. Things are said to you about you or to you about your S/O that make you question your happiness.

are we really meant to be?

Families have (for the most part), your best interest in mind. They have seen you grow up and know (to an extent) what you like/deserve. So when your mom says – I do not think he is the one for you – you question your heart. And when his family says things that make you wonder about him as a man, again you question your heart.

Hearing that you can do better is like a stake going through your heart. WTF is better? In the end, you chose to spend time with this person and give them your love.  How can you know how I feel and think and experience this person?

Listening to all these negative conversations pile up kills the vibe. Now you look at the relationship and question why. Because of the why, stupid things start becoming important and fights ensue. You question those first moments that were just the two of you and find yourself wishing you can go back and just live there forever. Another thing that happens at this point is your personal questioning of whether this person was ever right for you. You get drowned in all the voices from all the people who have shared their opinions and no one is their to save you because that is the truth now.

now what?

Then you move into the heartbreak stage where you forget about your heart and attempt to think logically with your mind only. Because for some reason we have been told to think with our minds when it comes to love and attraction since we cannot trust our hearts and hormones. We follow our hearts at the beginning when it is just the two of us, and then the two of us becomes 6 (adding our parents), plus the siblings, plus the grandparents and cousins and aunts and uncles. Now, you have all these people behind your individual sides feeding you opinions that make you want to throw up.

At this point you go to these people who have feed you the good and bad and say now what? You spill your heart out and cry and say I am not happy, everything is a mess and they look at you and say move on…

Why do we share our stories of heartbreak and confusion? We share to people who have no idea (ever) how much we love or care for the person in the story. Yet, we ask for advice and hope they shine a light you have not seen. The stories though are missing those key points. The ones that we are maybe embarrassed about or know for a fact they will create a chain reaction into something positive from the adviser or negative. If you are really feeling courageous, you end up sharing those parts in order to move on faster, whether it is going back or leaving for good.

love risks

You cannot escape your heart. It knows your heartbreaks and how deeply you love. You know in your heart why you fell for this person and why you cannot get them off your mind. Your family does not know your heart and does not know how you truly feel. They will never understand why you are able to look past things in the blindness of love. Listening to how your heartaches and the emptiness, is scary, but exactly what you need in a situation like this.

I based this post on the quote at the beginning, finding the quote inspired my ideas and helped me think through things going on in my mind right now. Your heart is so fragile and the fact that we know it will be hurt and still walk into the fire of love is psychotic (but beautiful). I am going to take control of my heart and listen to what it wants despite the outside influences and potential heartbreak. Accepting the risk and moving forward. Never regretting my decisions because each will be make in the name of love.



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Routine: Creating Healthy Habits


You’ll never change your life until you change something you do daily.

Currently I am analyzing my ‘in a relationship’ daily routine made me realize what was healthy versus unhealthy.


The relationship ended because it was not healthy. The point of finding a life partner revolves around someone who builds you up, accepts who you are and is willing to be support you.  They should not be bringing you down and causing unnecessary stress. My old daily routine consisted of maybe 90% time and brain power spent on my ex S/O. I focused on making life as easy as possible for the two of us, hoping for a forever.

The weirdest feeling is going from neglecting my needs and wants, to having all the time in the world to focus on my needs and wants.

what makes me happy?

what do i love to do?

Slowly I am remembering what I love to do and what makes me happy. Creating a routine to occupy my time and force myself to maintain myself and my space. It is so easy to get depressed and lazy following a break up. The way I am avoiding this black hole is by creating schedules and plans to keep myself going.

There is no reason for myself or you for that matter to take a low point of your life (a break up) and make it lower by getting depressed. Go through the emotions and then get up! Why does that person deserve to see your demise. Revenge or not, you deserve to feel amazing and become a better you!

creating healthy habits

I divide my life into these categories:

  • Home
  • Body
  • Relationships
  • ME!


Thinking about what chores you have to do. Having a clean space is something I need to schedule into my life. The dishes pile up and the table gets covered with random papers and the bed is never made. None of these sights bring joy to my life and honestly are going to be the hardest bad habits to break. I plan on scheduling my chores starting now. Adapting the habit of making my bed is a routine that makes me happy.


Thinking about what makes you feel healthy. Now I can buy only the food I want to eat, so if I want to be unhealthy I can and if I want to be healthy I can. No temptation. Buying whole foods and home cooking make me feel healthy.


Thinking about the relationships you neglected while being in a romantic relationship. Friendships and family are pushed to the side. It is sad, but you fall in love with a new person and forget about the ones you have already been in love with. Those are the constants and those are the ones you need to show your love to again. Setting up dates with my best friends and spending time with my family more is a routine that makes me happy.


Thinking about what makes you feel like your best self. For myself, I like doing my make up. Not Kardashian crazy, but just emphasizing my features. When I get to look in the mirror with a make up face, I feel like I can take on the world. Making sure I do my make up before I leave the house is a routine that makes me happy.



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What You Think


What you think, you become. What you feel, you attract. What you imagine, you create. – Buddha

This is that moment you think…I knew this was going to happen. You thought, felt and imagined your reality. Whatever is in your mind controls your actions, obviously you are always choosing, but you are bias to your inner dialogue.

Lets dissect the Buddha quote.

…what you think…you become…

Keep affirming negative and get negative. Keep affirming positive and get positive. Simple. But, how do you control your thoughts? -easiest way- surround yourself with all the good. Figure out what you need, pull it into your life and hold it tight. Gather the good and throw out the bad.

…what you feel…you attract…

What makes you feel shitty? Know it, remember it, and avoid it! Feel fat, eat more, feel tired, sit around. Eat healthy, feel healthy, workout, feel amazing, love yourself, feel like the best version of yourself. Feel good! No matter what ailment – emotional or physical – find a way to appreciate your body and mind + treat it with the most respect.

…what you imagine…you create…

Day dreaming is for adults too! Where do you escape in your mind. As you go through your day, you have your escapes – oh, I wish I had a better/nicer job/car/place. Think of the details and visualize. Focus on that, focus on how good your escape feels and how much better it will feel when it is your reality.

I’ve spent my 23 years realizing this is true, always promising myself and to stay positive, but breaking down when times get rough. Those negative thoughts suffocate the good and have lead me to my new reality…my lowest low.

Time to bounce back.

Time to restart and send out the positive vibes to attract the positive. Excited and nervous. Nervous because I am so used to the negative, it is going to hard to accept the amazingness that I know is to come and I deserve.

Wish me luck…


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Acceptance: Break Ups and Moving Forward


Life is dynamic, changing based on an infinite amount of variables. Some changes are so easy to accept and others take heaps of courage to comprehend.

A relationship starts off beautiful and exciting, positively moving forward – creating memories and enduring what life throws your way. Then the fights begin, the name calling and finger pointing.

Respect is lost and you need to make a change, but how? when?

The arguments get louder and more hurtful, you realize you lost that beautiful and exciting feeling. You are maybe not going backward, but you are definitely at a standstill.

Ending anything is scary, the normal comfort you had for so long ends and you have to deal. No running away from the flashbacks, the good and bad memories.

Maybe there is still love, but love is not enough. Love does not stop us from causing pain. We hurt the ones we love the most. The expectation is an unconditional acceptance, but in reality we have limits and if someone blows it – change is inevitable.

You do not know what you have until it is gone…that is when the acceptance factor comes in to play.

Mourning the loss of a person who is still alive is hard to accept, the coping mechanisms vary from healthy to self destructive.

How do you move forward, leaving a person you thought was going to be with you for life?

  • remember the good
  • remember the bad
  • say a mantra – my future is filled with love, I am worthy, my heart is open for new experiences

You learn how to live again, doing your own thing, following your own heart and motivations.

On this new journey, you accept the future and focus on the positive changes you are experiencing due to the beautiful disaster that was your past relationship.


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