This post is all about love and searching for the S/O you want. Rom coms talk of these lists you make that literally dictate what you want in a person…this is how you can make your own list that is not crazy specific, but helps you stay true to yourself!
reflecting on the past
Past relationships shape the way you grow as a person. Unfortunately, we need to experience people treating us like crap to realize what crap really is. You have standards that no one can make you care about more than yourself – even though society says things like the dude should pay, if that doesn’t matter to you than it won’t fall into the crap pile. When something your current person does bothers you, point it out and think about whether you can deal or not! That person will never ever ever ever change! Not even if they love you – that sh*t is ingrained into their person so even if they say they will change and do it once, trust me they will bounce back to the same routine.
planning the future
Do you want those typical things like a family + kids? Or do you want to be that cool person in the family who has no kids, travels and has nice things? I don’t know – you figure it out. That is how you search! You have your list from reflecting on the past and then add the qualities necessary for you to achieve the future you have in mind. For example – I have no desire to have my own kids (that is me speaking as a 23 year old who only cares about herself) so the partner I need isn’t necessarily someone who wants kids/is good with kids. Of course, your wants and needs will change as you grow – so really this whole thing is just being true to yourself and following what feels right. If you want to travel and the prospective S/O hates travel – WTF are you still with him/her?
creating a game plan
How are you going to hunt for this magical S/O? My advice – DO NOT date anyone at school in your classes or at work! Go out your comfort zone or just calm yourself. Be open to love, but do not go crazy searching. I believe in soulmates (or at least things falling into place for a reason). Dating apps are interesting, you find winners and then actual gems where you go – ‘oh, you aren’t just here for that thing everyone else I have matched with is here for…’. That said, PATIENCE IS KEY! Download the apps, take pretty pictures of yourself and have fun conversing with people you are attracted to…even that helps with figuring out what you like and do not like!