You will never be able to escape from your heart. So it is better to listen to what it has to say. – Paulo Coehlo
why do people have big mouths?
I personally do not understand why people talk. They say things that cause you to step back and have a WTF moment. When dating someone you fall for them and all they are. Your first moments together are just the two of you. You focus on yourselves. Learning about what makes each other happy. Time passes and you need to become involved now with their family. This is inevitable when things are going well. And vice versa. There is only to ways this can go: positive or negative. But, you are in love so you look past if there is any negative. Things are said to you about you or to you about your S/O that make you question your happiness.
are we really meant to be?
Families have (for the most part), your best interest in mind. They have seen you grow up and know (to an extent) what you like/deserve. So when your mom says – I do not think he is the one for you – you question your heart. And when his family says things that make you wonder about him as a man, again you question your heart.
Hearing that you can do better is like a stake going through your heart. WTF is better? In the end, you chose to spend time with this person and give them your love. How can you know how I feel and think and experience this person?
Listening to all these negative conversations pile up kills the vibe. Now you look at the relationship and question why. Because of the why, stupid things start becoming important and fights ensue. You question those first moments that were just the two of you and find yourself wishing you can go back and just live there forever. Another thing that happens at this point is your personal questioning of whether this person was ever right for you. You get drowned in all the voices from all the people who have shared their opinions and no one is their to save you because that is the truth now.
Then you move into the heartbreak stage where you forget about your heart and attempt to think logically with your mind only. Because for some reason we have been told to think with our minds when it comes to love and attraction since we cannot trust our hearts and hormones. We follow our hearts at the beginning when it is just the two of us, and then the two of us becomes 6 (adding our parents), plus the siblings, plus the grandparents and cousins and aunts and uncles. Now, you have all these people behind your individual sides feeding you opinions that make you want to throw up.
At this point you go to these people who have feed you the good and bad and say now what? You spill your heart out and cry and say I am not happy, everything is a mess and they look at you and say move on…
Why do we share our stories of heartbreak and confusion? We share to people who have no idea (ever) how much we love or care for the person in the story. Yet, we ask for advice and hope they shine a light you have not seen. The stories though are missing those key points. The ones that we are maybe embarrassed about or know for a fact they will create a chain reaction into something positive from the adviser or negative. If you are really feeling courageous, you end up sharing those parts in order to move on faster, whether it is going back or leaving for good.
You cannot escape your heart. It knows your heartbreaks and how deeply you love. You know in your heart why you fell for this person and why you cannot get them off your mind. Your family does not know your heart and does not know how you truly feel. They will never understand why you are able to look past things in the blindness of love. Listening to how your heartaches and the emptiness, is scary, but exactly what you need in a situation like this.
I based this post on the quote at the beginning, finding the quote inspired my ideas and helped me think through things going on in my mind right now. Your heart is so fragile and the fact that we know it will be hurt and still walk into the fire of love is psychotic (but beautiful). I am going to take control of my heart and listen to what it wants despite the outside influences and potential heartbreak. Accepting the risk and moving forward. Never regretting my decisions because each will be make in the name of love.